Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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