Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
thus making me awesome and them whores
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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