Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
not ubering you a puppy
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
