pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
