My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
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