if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
