God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
