I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Holy sore nipples Batman
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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