I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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