Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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