well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
