So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Randomize
