i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
