Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
