"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
