OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
