R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
