Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
