I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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