that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
