The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
