Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
