I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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