All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
