Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
