there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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