i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
