i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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