i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
