So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Randomize
