R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
