Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
