idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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