It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
