Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
