bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
