What a fucking waste of an outfit
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
