Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My breasts were aching with rage.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
