the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
