Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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