Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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