im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
