I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Randomize
