i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
