$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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