I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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