How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
