remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
