watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
