i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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