Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
