I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
